tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post116164992105519177..comments2008-11-19T19:24:32.435-05:00Comments on UM Writers' Community: One from the closetUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post-1163485357790593122006-11-14T01:22:00.000-05:002006-11-14T01:22:00.000-05:00I definitely like parts of both of them. I almost ...I definitely like parts of both of them. I almost want the buddies...I can't believe I just said buddy. I also like the made up words...they seem to enforce the point of the poem.Ankithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046782740721830353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post-1163394052541319562006-11-13T00:00:00.000-05:002006-11-13T00:00:00.000-05:00Okay, for once, it seems I must disagree completel...Okay, for once, it seems I must disagree completely with Jenny.<BR/><BR/>Of course I love the first version (don't we all--it has, after all, become Writers' Community history), I have to say that, just as in the first version, the speaker gets more sophisticated by the stanza, this poem itself seems to get more sophisticated by the version. Cute and ironic as the ending about rhyming is, "And Manishahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11460310818106684031noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post-1163392621921889542006-11-12T23:37:00.000-05:002006-11-12T23:37:00.000-05:00I really think you need to combine parts of the tw...I really think you need to combine parts of the two, but I'm really glad you found the first copy. You must keep the ending from the first- it's superb, far better than the second. The whole "buddy" could be stronger, I think; that's where you might want to draw in from the second. I agree with KT, use some of those awesome words you make up, but not all of them.Jennyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08340141588055681107noreply@blogger.com