tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post1521129541825598631..comments2008-11-19T19:24:32.435-05:00Comments on UM Writers' Community: Fall's PretensesUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post-6442228639739391912007-11-02T15:51:00.000-04:002007-11-02T15:51:00.000-04:00i kind of like how "trapping us indoors" sounds- a...i kind of like how "trapping us indoors" sounds- and it takes away a second 'and' in a row.Jeremy Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461860311577560158noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post-87252233782240612582007-11-02T14:51:00.000-04:002007-11-02T14:51:00.000-04:00I wasn't sure about the comma. The periods are at ...I wasn't sure about the comma. The periods are at the ends of sentences. I guess I should fix my capitalization. The That is necessary because it's not the beginning of a thought, and probably needs an and or something before it. Should I change the Like to As if?Ankithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11046782740721830353noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27301270.post-29190030507639562102007-11-02T13:50:00.000-04:002007-11-02T13:50:00.000-04:00alright, so first off, look over your punctuation ...alright, so first off, look over your punctuation again and make it consistent. do you want periods at the end of "sentences?" the first comma i'm not sure is necessary.<BR/><BR/>the "that" at the beginning of the 5th line may not be necessary since it's at the beginning of a thought.<BR/><BR/>perhaps more to come after i get back from class...Jeremy Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10461860311577560158noreply@blogger.com