sullen, stark and shabby,
he sits upon the stoop.
Slowly singing somber songs
Sipping on his soup.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Untitled (as is the usual with my stuff)
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This is the blog of Writers' Community at the University of Michigan. Members are invited to post their thoughts or writing for feedback, discussion, and to keep in touch with other members. Writers' Community Fall and Winter meetings are held every Thursday night at 8.00 p.m. in 3460 Mason Hall. New members are always welcome.
sullen, stark and shabby,
he sits upon the stoop.
Slowly singing somber songs
Sipping on his soup.
Posted by
Josh
at
10:23 AM |
1 comments:
I said it out loud and it sounds really cool. You're very good with the rich minimalistic style.
Just a note though: I don't think of a "sullen" person as someone who would sing (even thought the songs are "somber"). I recommend reconsidering that word. Also, whichever word you use there, is there a reason it isn't capitalized?
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