Monday, November 10, 2008


The Killer
The knife that slithers
Through my throat to slay a miser;
Erythrocytes flow profusely from the lesion.
Seems like I lack neurotransmitters
Afflicted by numbness
The sinner

wrote this some time in july...
i dont know if it makes any sense but... just wondering what kind of feedback i'll get =)


Ankit said...

Good words. Seems like they might take away a little bit because they're so technical though.

Also, why miser?

Other than that, I'm a fan :)

Nami said...

I love the structure. A shape poem? Hm?

I don't know about the title, though. It seems like 'persecution' isn't really addressed here.

Other than that, I love it. It has a great level of creepiness. And detachment. Tying back, of course, to the lack of neurotransmitters, "afflicted by numbness". Great job!