I had a reason, and still do.
There's no changing the past now.
I know.....what I'm doing. Right?
Right. I know.
Something gnaws at my existence today.
It started in my stomach,
migrated to mind with migraine.
metaphysical rationalization indicates
You're the reason.
The answer?
It's there, somewhere.
Somehow I have to decide.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Complex Contemplations on Continuation
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2 comments:
I like this one--especially the line "migrated to mind with migraine".
A punctuation question: shouldn't the m in "metaphysical" be capitalized? Also, I think the title is too... well, complex, and borders on sounding pretentious; if I were you, I'd come up with something more straightforward. That's all the suggestions I have. Good poem!
I liked the poem too! If I were you, I might change the line: "Something gnaws at my existence today." The poem as a whole is pretty open as far as what the problem / question is in the relationship between the speaker and the audience... This particular line is rather vague, and I think if you made it a bit more specific -- what gnaws at your existence? what part of your existence?... -- it would improve the poem. Unless, of course, you want to leave your poem so open.
Again, the line "migrated to mind with migraine" is great!
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